Life in 2D/3D

KJ and i live in separate time zones. There's Torrygirl time (your basic, standard, regular people sort of time) and then there's KJ time, which is regular people time plus half an hour, divided by your weight and multipled by how many meals you've eaten since sunday.

It's a bit of a guessing game what time he'll show up. Usually it's somewhere between 15 minutes and two hours after he is supposed to be there, but if we have a booking he's often early.
Sometimes, he doesn't show up at all. These are the times that i get peeved. I'll call to see where he is and find that he's asleep on a couch at a friends place in a town two hours away. I forgive him tho, because i know he doesn't do it on purpose. He doesn't wear a watch, either. Maybe i should buy him one.
He was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago. he just called to say he's 20 minutes away. I'm going to get my calculator out and see if that formula was right...

[b]In other news:[/b]

[u]Strange google searches that have led people to my blog[/u]

1. "Bum Patting + AFL"


2. "you ugly"


3. "freezing cold office"


4. "badaunt" (you'd think that one would lead to [url=http://badaunt.tblog.com]badaunt[/url] , wouldn't you?


5. "Gag Emoticon"

I love that i'm not the only one who searches for strange things. You've gotta love google.

Today was a struggle. It was freezing cold this morning and it's always so much harder to get out of bed when there's a good chance that you'll stand up and slip on the ice-skating rink that has formed on your floor while you were sleeping.
It took about an hour, but after finally dragging myself out of bed & getting ready for work, i spent a good half hour defrosting my car. Ordinarily i'd just get the garden hose onto it and melt the ice, but my car was parked out the front of the house - outside of hosing range. I couldn't move the car, because the door was frozen shut. I couldn't defrost the car, because the hose wouldn't reach. Catch 22. I had to lug buckets of water down to the car and pour them over it, managing to get almost as much on me as on the car. At one point, my hand stuck breifly to the door handle (it's made of unpainted metal). I felt like a little kid with their tongue stuck to the freezer.

I live at the bottom of a valley, so on mornings like this, i'll step outside to find the dew has formed droplets all over my car and those droplets have frozen solid. It'll take 10 minutes or so of driving for them to defrost fully. A lot of people stare at my car as i'm driving, trying to work out why it looks so strange. It's the fact that i'm moving at 80km/h and the water drops on my car aren't moving in the wind. I think it looks good. it makes my car look like it's moving effortlesly. Like 80km/h is as easy as standing still. Today's was particularly good. I had little icicles hanging from just above the windows and from the bottom of my side mirrors. not so good though, because as i was driving along, little chunks of ice kept wiggling loose and flying at my windscreen. They kept scaring the crap out of me. It was like i was my own hail storm.

I'm feeling a little guilty, because i got to work late and i left early today, but at the moment there is so little work for me to do that i'm beginning to feel like going there is a waste of time. I know that things will pick up again, but in the meanwhile i'm bored out of my brain.
I'm also dreading the boss returning from holidays in two days, because i'm sure he's going to ask me if i've done all these things and i won't have, because even though i spend all day working on them, at the end of the day i seem to have nothing to show for it. I think it's because i get sick of what i'm doing too quickly. Like our website. I'm supposed to design a new one, but i get so sick of looking at it halfway through that i just end up starting again. I can't help it. I'm a perfectionist.

Yesterday, i visited a place that was truly creepy. If you've ever visited a foreign country, you will be able to relate to this feeling. It was the feeling of being totally alien - of being surrounded by a mass of people who are different to you. Of being the odd one out. No, i did not leave the country yesterday. No such luck. Instead, i visited a shopping centre near work in my lunch break. I know, i know, at first, it doesn't sound at all freaky. Just a harmless shopping centre full of normal, lunchtime shoppers rushing around to quickly pick up a few things.

No.

No, this place was different. i entered this shopping centre as a minority. I entered....as a young person. Now i'm not saying that this shopping centre was simply full of people who were older than me. No. This shopping centre was full of people who were seriously [b][i]old[/i][/b]. I don't think there was a single person in the place (myself excluded) who was under 70. I spent my lunch break dodging walkers & wheelchairs. Even the people who worked there were elderly.

I don't mean any disrespect to people of this age, it was just a strange phenomenon. It was like shopping in a nursing home.
At one point i was cornered by an elderly priest and a little old lady, respectably arm in arm. I am convinced that they were testing me, to see if i would yeild to them and move aside to let them pass. They were making it very difficult. KJ, who was with me and was as equally disturbed as i was, pulled me aside to let them pass just as i was beginning to lose hope of ever finding a way around. "I don't want to go to hell" he whispered at me as the couple shuffled past.

I entered a pharmacy to pick up a few things and was served by a woman who was much like [url=http://badaunt.tblog.com]badaunt's 'Mouse'[/url]. I spent the better part of my hour long lunch break trying to pay for $5 worth of items.

KJ tried to explain away this place by saying that elderly people don't work during the day, so of course a shopping centre would be full of them. Especially on a Friday, the day after pension day. No. I don't beleive that. Where were the stay at home mums/dads? Where were the sick people picking up prescriptions from the pharmacy? Where were the jobless people with nothing better to do? There were none. They were [i]all old.[/i]
I left an hour later, trying desperately to avoid elderly drivers who for some reason, seemed unable to see my car, despite the fact that it is bright red.

The worst part is, in my haste to get out of there, I picked up the wrong item at the pharmacy. On Monday, I have to go back.

Help.

Finally! It is wonderful, beautiful Friday and my working week has come to a close. I should be down at the pub, sitting back, relaxing with a beer and a few good friends. Instead, today i am designated-dave. KJ's car is back for some kind of warranty job and that leaves me to drive. Ah well. It's just good that it's friday.

One of the installers left the company today. It was sad - he was my favourite. We called him Ugly-Joe. He wasn't ugly & i don't remember now why we started calling him that. I do remember that not long after i started work with the company, i rang KJ's mobile and someone else answered. I asked "Is that you Ugly?" and was horrified to find that it was actually the director of the company on the other end of the phone. :P

Ugly was a friendly guy and he was great fun to go out drinking with. He'd been at the comany for 6 or seven years and i think he was just over the job. I admire him for moving on and getting work elsewhere when he has a family to support. I know how hard it is to leave a secure job to do something else. I think he may have had another job lined up to go to, but i got the impression from talking to him that he just wanted to try some new things and find his niche.
I think i'll drink a toast to him. I'll miss him lots.

So:
:lol: [b]Here's to you ugly![/b] :lol:

Love and all things related seems to be a favourite topic to blog about, ,so i thought i'd give it a bash too. :P

KJ and I, like most other couples, have our little terms of endearment and silly little things that we say to each other. Well at lest, I assume most other couples have these things – if they don’t, they’re missing out. My favourite is this one:
Me: Kiss me!
Him: Where?
Me: Give it to me right in the face
Him: Fine! I’ll kiss you right in the face! Right in the face, ya hear?
I like cute things like this. I like to think that I’m not like other females and that romance doesn’t make me all starry-eyed and make me melt inside, but I’m not fooling anyone – least of all myself. It makes you feel special to share that with someone.

I disagree with [url=http://joeseeker.tblog.com]joeseeker[/url] , who says (or implies, rather) that real love means always acting in a loving way. I think love is totally manipulative. It’s human nature – we’re only looking out for ourselves. When you worry that someone might come along and steal your loved one away from you – that feeling is a deep, innate human feeling that can’t be helped – you don’t want to lose the thing you love, because you love it, it makes you happy, and you are the most important thing. It’s primal. It’s not something you can change. This is the way that humans work. I also believe that if you don’t ever fear losing what you love, then you will come to take it for granted.
I’m reading back over this and it sounds a little like I’m just out to argue against all of joeseekers thoughts. That’s not it at all. So for the record, I’m just stating that this is my expression of opinion and not an expression against joeseeker’s.
While he makes a lot of good points on love being a selfless act, I just can’t agree. Mostly because I’m here. I’m in that place. I’m in love & I know how it feels. I know that it’s love, I’m 100% sure of it and at times it can be selfish and it can be insecure. I don’t think that makes it any less valid. I think the idea of a pure, perfect love is something that is probably best left to the major religions to claim as their copyright. I like my not so pure or perfect love. It makes life so much more interesting.

Tomorrow is the meeting of the Victorian Mini Club where they discuss the next race at [url=http://www.visitphillipisland...]Phillip Island[/url] . They run 2 races a year at [url=http://www.phillipislandcircu...]the track [/url] – classic car races for the most part. The next one is the [url=http://vmrc.alphalink.com.au]Victorian State Circuit Racing Championship[/url] in September. I’ve helped out a couple of times, doing vehicle recovery and lots of boring admin things like handing out pit lane wristbands, but this is the first time they’ve ever sent me a letter asking me to help. I’m not even a member of the Mini club! I get the impression that they’re struggling to find people to help out. They were looking for people at the last race as well, if I recall. I haven’t decided if I’ll go or not. It’s mostly a dull weekend (except for saturday night at the pub) and a long boring drive – not to mention that it never seems to get above 2 degrees outside. I think Phillip Island is officially the coldest beach town in Australia.
I love car racing (I’m one of the few females who genuinely does!) but this race can just seem like a nuisance – getting up at 6am to go to a freezing cold race track to sit in a freezing cold shed & hand out arm bands to other frozen and less than friendly people.

Maybe I’ll go this time. If I don’t, I’ll only be sitting around at home, wishing I was at the pub with everyone else. Then again, 6am is so early for a Saturday morning and it will be so cold….but the racing will be good to watch…..but I may not be able to watch it if I’m doing admin in a shed somewhere….
AARGHHH!!!! Can you see my dilemma?

Today's stories on 'A Current Affair' (our hard hitting current affairs program for those of you that have no idea what i'm talking about) were, in no particular order:

• A man whose dog woke him when his house caught fire


• A 3 day workshop for people that stutter


• A talent agency for animals


• A pro-Australian, anti-asian racist whose grandmother was indonesian


• Some old people (Ernie & Elvira) who have annoyed neighbours by painting their shed bright orange

It must be a slow news week.
It's been a slow week at work this week as well. I've found myself leaving by 4:30-5, which is unusual, since i'm usually stuck there until around 6 at the earliest. It's been nice, but it's thrown me off a little. I keep thinking that it's later than it actually is. I've discovered that i don't miss much on tv while i'm at work late. Oh, except for animal talent agencies & orange buildings.

The lines are now open to all callers (or commenters) who might like to suggest some things i could do to spice up my week. These things should preferrably be legal and not involve elephant conga lines (not long ones, anyway).

In other news, [url=http://www.tblog.com/template...]satorisam[/url] has come up with a way to put your tbucks to good use - you can use to make a donation to charity. Step on over and take a look. It's all about participation - you can even have your tbucks back at the end of it all if you want.

A short bitching blog entry to make me feel better:

Why is it that when salesmen insist on visiting my workplace rather than sending me information, they don't take me seriously? Today i rang a man about having some promotional folders printed. We will be spending a very large amount of money on this. I am in charge. He suggested he come and visit me at my office. I asked if he could mail some information. He insisted on coming by. Given that i have tried this before and not been taken sriously, i wasn't keen on the idea. He came by. He answered my questions. He spoke about what they could do. I asked intelligent, well thought out questions. I made it clear that it was something that we intended to go ahead with, it was just a matter of whether or not he was the person we would use.
He left with all his product brochures in his hand & a vague, unconvincing promise of providing us with a quotation some time. I take this as a bad sign. Just because i'm young doesn't mean i should not be taken seriously.

Do you think he could sense that i don't have a degree?

Some things I learnt after my rich people’s weekend away.

It’s official - I hate Thai food. Thai food is not my favourite.

My Boyfriend (KJ) tells me that it is bad manners to say that you hate something. You should always say “it’s not my favourite.’ This is something that his grandfather taught him. Well Thai food is not my favourite. I suspected that I wouldn’t like Thai food, given that I don’t like coconut. After arriving at our hotel, we discovered that it was ‘Thai week’ and our buffet dinner would be Thai themed. Everything contained coconut, chilli or crab (or some combination of these.) Coconut is not my favourite. I love foods with chilli, but foods that ARE chilli are not my favourite. I am allergic to crab. All in all, the Thai food didn’t go down well.

I love the view of the ocean you get from a room up high in the building – I just hate that you have to be up high to get it.

The view from our room was incredible. It looked all the way across the bay – you could see forever. Geelong is an incredible place. The local council spends a fortune on making the foreshore look fantastic, so it’s an incredible place to look out over. We had a private balcony, but it had one of those glass-edged-no-railing sort of things happening. They make me feel like I’m going to fall right over the edge, so most of my time was spent just outside the doorway admiring the view from a distance.

I am the customer service Nazi

I admit it. I despise poor customer service. Saturday night we showed up for our booking at 7:30 only to be told that our table wasn’t ready and then shoved towards some bar where we weren’t offered a drink while we waited. Maybe I’m a snob, maybe it’s just me being over the top, but I thought that the whole purpose of making a booking was so you had a table when you showed up. In the end we got our table (almost half an hour later) and the food was great, but it made me realise that I am the customer service nazi.

Rich people are rarely the primary residents of expensive hotels

We were there because we had discount vouchers so that we could afford it. I know lots of rich people. You can always tell the difference between a genuinely rich person and a person with a discount voucher. These people were mostly people with vouchers. This is a good thing. Rich people make me slightly uncomfortable. It's not normal to have a weekend away and stay at a place you can actually afford. :P

There is not a daytime movie too cheesy for me to watch from start to finish

The brady bunch goes to washington. Need i say more?

The only thing better than a bacon and egg breakfast is a buffet style bacon and egg breakfast.

mmmmmm, bacon and eggs. There should be more meals that involve bacon and eggs.

Fish and chips are the safe option

Everytime we go out for lunch near the beach, i order fish and chips. Regardless of the wide range opf selections on the menu, i always choose fish and chips. This is the safe option. Given that these restaurants are on the waterfront, there is some level of expectation about the quality of their sea-originated meals. This means that if you order any kind of seafood, it's almost guaranteed to be good. KJ has not twigged to this theory yet. Every time we've eaten a meal together at the beach, he's always preferred my meal over his. He thinks i'm better at judging which meals will be better at each restaurant. Little does he know...

I've written a poem:



Ok, so I didn't write that all myself - I totally stole the first two lines from another poem I once heard.
All my efforts so far to recreate the gloriousness that was my epic blog entry have so far failed. I'm just going to ignore everything I wrote about, and write about other, slightly less interesting but equally as wordy things. I'm in a good mood. A very good mood! Today, I head off for 3 relaxing days at a highly overpriced 5 star hotel near the beach.
Ok, so it's freezing cold outside. That ok with me - it wasn't like I was planning on swimming or anything. And sure, I won’t even be able to breathe without it costing me a fortune – but the beach is just a nice place to be because it's not the same as where I live. The snow would be just as good. The beach is closer though, and I really hate driving.

I think I’ve become addicted to expensive hotels. (Jesus, is there anything I’m not addicted to?! :P) I just can’t help myself. It’s a nice feeling to not have to lift a finger for the whole weekend. I love that anything I ask for is within reason. Gee, we should be able to pay people to do everything. Oh wait! We can. I just can’t afford it. And there are some things that you can pay people to do that I’m planning on steering well clear of. One of my friends from uni drank a bottle of tomato sauce (or ketchup, as the American call it.) for $50. Ick. He was incredibly sick and sorry afterwards. It’s sickening what people will do for money.

To just totally subject hop for a second – can we get back to this thing where Americans have completely different names for things than Aussies do? Fair enough, cultural differences and all, but what does ‘Ketchup’ actually mean? Is it a derivative from a brand name that just overtook a product name? I mean, at least if you call it tomato sauce, you know what you’re getting. And it’s not just an American/Australian thing; it’s a thing that happens within Australia between the states. I was horrified when I visited New South Wales to find that I lacked the skills required to order a beer. Now, we call them ‘pots’ of beer or ‘pints’ of beer whereas in NSW, they’re called a ‘Middy’ & a ‘Schooner’. I’m standing there at the bar in some middle of nowhere pub, struggling to come to terms with this as some barman growls “Middy or Schooner?” at me. He looked appalled when I replied “Er…. yes please.”

Wow, I can’t believe how hyped I am about this trip. I feel like I’ve had too much sugar or something. I know this means that everything I’ve written is just psychotic babble, but I think it’s ok to be a little ditzy at times. It makes up for all the seriousness the rest of the time.

If anyone would care to comment and explain the whole ketchup issue, it would be greatly appreciated. I may not sleep at nights until I know. :P

My partner has recently developed this awful habit of answering my questions with entire monologues rather than using much simpler expressions like “Yes” or “No”. Granted, his monologues would put any decent playwright to shame (I would have named one, but just realised I don’t really know any – and the ones I do know, I can’t spell). Regardless of this, they are unnecessary.
In fact, sometimes his answers are so off track, it makes me think that he didn’t hear me ask a question at all and that he’s just suddenly had an epiphany about something he might need to mention to me. It’s just by some freak of chance that he tells me at the exact moment I was wondering the same thing.
For example, I’ll ask him something simple, like “Will I have to look in the book to find that measurement?” He’ll respond “I don’t know, you’ll have to look in the book to find it.” Please tell me – does that make sense to anyone else? Because it just went straight over my head…

Today is as good an example as any. I was attempting to draw a very involved indoor playground. It’s an involved job that requires a lot of concentration and planning, as you can end up inadvertently creating a unit with tubes that weave in and out of each other and then forget something important – like a way to get in. Minor detail, but it’s generally frowned upon to design playgrounds like this.
I was attempting to make a spiral slide that exited on an appropriate angle, and came up with something that may or may not have actually worked in real life. I turned to my partner and asked him “I’ve just drawn this, but I’m not sure if it will work. What do you think?”
He very informatively responded “Are you sure that will work? Did you draw that?”

I give up.

[b]An update on a previous entry about the Sporting Nation in which i live:[/b]

Australia is outraged that the live television coverage of an oh-so-thrilling cricket match (in which shane warne was attempting to break some sort of world record for getting people out) was cut to televise everyone's favourite cheesy gameshow - 'The Price Is Right'. Moments after the Gameshow started, Warne broke the record, and we all missed seeing it live. It's all over the news. SHOCK HORROR!!
I'm looking for a 'gag' emoticon, but there doesn't seem to be one...We'll settle for Mad and/or Constipated. :x

My friends have all flown the coop. People seem to be bailing out of Australia as fast as the airlines can carry them. Do they know something that I don’t? My best friend has toodled off to the UK (because that’s what you do in England; You toodle.), 4 more of my friends are scattered throughout Europe. My cousin has moved to Canada. My boss is in Fiji; a work colleague is in America somewhere. My brother went on a trip to the UK for a year and returned for 2 weeks to let us know he had a girlfriend, was expecting a baby and then he headed back again.
I think I’m out of the loop. Perhaps Australia has just lost that rustic appeal that it once had. Perhaps it’s a conspiracy involving some strange network of unnamed government agencies. Maybe it’s me. All I know is that the weekends are getting gradually more uneventful as every person I know gets as far away as they can.

One of the friends who is travelling Europe is a fantastically enthusiastic-for-life gay guy. He gets along with everyone, is hardworking, generous – generally an all round top bloke. He is also incredibly naïve. We all worried about what might happen to him if he was left on his own while travelling abroad, but we pushed these fears to the back of our minds since he was heading off with my best friend and they weren’t expecting to separate any time in the first few months of travel. By some freak of chance (something to do with not speaking the language) they missed a flight and were separated. In the space of the [i]4 hours [/i]they were separated, he managed to get [b]drugged, mugged and robbed blind.[/b] Some people just shouldn’t be allowed out on their own. I love him to bits, but honestly – [i]who drinks coffee given to them by a stranger on a train station in a foreign country?[/i]
Luckily, he is eternally optimistic and it was only a minor bump in his plans – he was more upset that they stole his designer watch than about being drugged or having all his papers stolen. I would love to be that optimistic and carefree about things, but not at the expense of being that naïve.

All right, I've changed the post that was previously entitled "Porn & Gambling" as it has served its purpose.
I've left the original post at the bottom of this so you can still read it if you feel you really can't live without it, or you can head over to SatoriSam's Laundry Lottery to see how the tally ended up. At last count it was over 10. (Is there such a thing as a long distance gambling addiction?)

[b]Original Post:[/b]
[i]Interested?

Click here to find out more!*

*TorryGirl holds no responsibility that this contains no pornographic
material whatsoever and is merely a shameless ploy to get SatoriSam's Laundry Lottery tally up to 10. I wasn't lying about the gambling tho... [/i]

I think there should be more than three meals a day. I usually manage to squeeze in around 8-9, but I can see how this would be unrealistic for most people, so I’m willing to concede that 5 would be acceptable.

I have one of those fantastic metabolisms that means I can eat as much as I want and never put on any weight. I work in a place that is lucky enough to be surrounded by some of the best food shops I’ve ever been to. They’re mostly fast food type shops, (I’m not lucky enough to have a long enough lunch break to eat an entire meal at a restaurant.), but I am an avid believer in the virtues of junk food. How can you deny yourself something that looks that good, smells that good and tastes that good? It's not natural, i'm telling you now. Not that all fast food is good fast food. Sometimes it's just fast. Those are the times you wish you'd spent that extra 5 minutes to go and get something that hadn't been in the window of the store for some indefinable amount of time. For further information on food you wish you didn't have, see my last entry.

Today i feel uninspired to write. I've made an attempt, but i don't think it's working very well. If i was a man, i would go here. Since i'm not, i think i'll go to bed instead.

[u][b]An important news update:[/b][/u]

I have just discovered something green and furry in the back of my refrigerator. I beleive i may have singlehandedly created a new lifeform.

Something that frequently gets on my nerves about the country I live in is that we are a sporting nation. Oh how we love our sports! And we're good at them! Better, ususally, than the people who invented them, which i'm sure is a fact that hasn't escaped the rest of the world (in particular England) and hasn't failed to irritate.
To me, this isn't such an annoying thing. The annoying thing is that on a Saturday afternoon, i can flip to any free to air channel and there will be nothing on but sport.

I have a very strict TV watching schedule -And this is quite frequently interrupted and shuffled around so that we can watch every second of wimbledon, every last moment of the swimming and every tiny detail of the AFL (don't even get me started on Olympic Games coverage!). I'm not a sporty person. I don't want to live in a sporting nation. I want to live in a nation of TV watching, junk food eating, cigarette smoking intellectuals. Does a place like this even exist? Can i even guess at what place like this may exist without offending anyone who may live there?
Even our Cable TV has two channels that are entirely devoted to the AFL. How am i supposed to watch a cheesy B-grade midday movie if the sport has interrupted everything? The awful thing is that no one seems to care! Australians LOVE their sport. To them, i'm like the freaky outcast. I'm like the Indian that doesn't like curry. Like Hollywood without plastic surgery! Come on people! Give me a break! How am i supposed to watch The Sopranos if Wimbledon is on instead! There is no escaping it. We are sporting junkies.
I hope you all tipped Brisbane Lions to beat the Western Bulldogs as it looks as though the Doggies have lost all hope. :P

Before i forget, I'd like to encourage anyone reading this to head to SatoriSam's Blog and check out the Laundry Lottery Challenge. You only have until Tuesday to get involved people!

So this has been the week that won't end. I'm in such an f-everything mood. I can't seem to get it right. I'm trying, but it's not working. Maybe i expect too much. You people are all crazy, you hear? I'm going to explode.
there is a guy i know. He's written off two cars already. He's only had his license for a year. Last night he wrote off the third. And almost wrote off one of his friends with it. YOU ARE A FOOL! I can't stand these people who think they are indestructible. Isn't it obvious to them (especially after the first two cars) that they're not? I know now why i'm so bad at people. I'm not like them.
I built my car. When i first bought it, it was rusted out and beaten up. I re-built it and restored it. I put a lot of work and a lot of love into it. people think it's strange that i built myself a muscle car. There's nothing like a good Aussie muscle car, i say. They say, you're a chick! Muscle cars are for blokes! I apologise for not doing burnouts and speeding and flipping my car and damaging my friends. It must be that i love my car too much. OR I'M NOT A FOOL!!!

Grrrrr. Crazy people are driving me nuts. (ha!)

I would like to be a footballer. I was watching the AFL on TV last night and it looked like fun. After you run around and get tired out chasing the ball, you get to stop and have a cuddle. (i think they call it tackling. Whatever.) then, when you get back to it, and kick a goal, all the guys pat you on the bum.

When you put it like that, the whole idea sounds a little camp. Men in tight little shorts running around, grabbing each other, patting each other on the bum while they chase balls. Do you think that's why it's such a popular sport? It's the male bonding experience all nicely wrapped up in a blokey disguise so they still look like real tough guys while indulging in some slightly camp behaviour.

Grrr. I feel i could scream i'm that irritated! :x

Some idiot asked me for my phone number while i was at a wake. He was hot. But an idiot. How inappropriate.

Last time I wrote, I was testing a theory. This theory was that blog entries with naughty subject headings would increase traffic to your page. After posting an entry with the subject heading “Big Willy”, I’m pleased to announce that this experiment was a success. Within minutes of posting the entry, I had more hits on my blog than I had received for any other entry.
To explain better (Well, to prove to myself that my two years of studying Chemistry and Physics were not a complete waste, more than anything else) here’s a little write up of the experiment.


[b][/b]
[b]INTRODUCTION:[/b] :arrow:
It is suggested that naughty words in subject headings will increase traffic to a tblog user’s page. This experiment investigates this claim and attempts to prove that said claim is true

[b]MATERIALS & METHODS[/b] :?:
[b]Materials:[/b] 1 blog entry, 1 naughty subject heading, many innocent and unsuspecting blog readers.

[b]Method:[/b] (1) write innocent and mildly amusing (to me, anyway) blog entry.
(2) Give said blog entry Naughty subject heading that insinuates content to be slightly vulgar/rude/erotic and/or uncouth.
(3) Record current blog hits and time of blog post
(4) Post blog.
(5) Sit back, relax, and wait for the entry to do its work
(6) Record difference in blog entry hits in comparison to previous hits after posting an entry
(7) laugh maniacally and then sigh sadly in realization of how bored and tragic you have become

[b]RESULTS & DISCUSSION:[/b] :idea:
Well I sort of gave away the results at the start of this entry. So I’ll just get on with the discussion. To put it simply, people like sex stuff. I don’t know how to explain it – maybe I’ll leave that up to someone else to explain. All I know is that after posting my story about ‘Big Willy’, I suddenly became very popular. And then quite quickly, very unpopular. Sorry to disappoint you all. I didn’t mean any harm - only mild amusement.

I have it on good authority that naughty sounding subject headings attract traffic. This is a theory that just could not be passed up for a little in-depth research - So thankyou for being part of my little experiment. I'll post the results of this experiment in a future blog.

Big Brother is watching....

So as not to disappoint any of you who were really after something about "Big Willy" here's you are:

I work with Big Willy. We call him Big Willy beacuse he's so short and his surname is Wilson. Go Figure. Big Willy calls himself 'The Fireman'. He's a salesman who, miraculously, sells incredible amounts. I say miraculously, because he is so disorganised that it's a wonder he remembers to turn in any of his quotes. Somehow, people can not resist the fireman. (yes, i know, you're all thinking how much better it would have sounded if i had put 'Big Willy' instead of 'the fireman' in that sentence. Get your minds out of the gutter people!)
He calls himself the fireman, because he's 'on fire!'. Secretly, we're all having a bit of a laugh behind his back beacuse we're juvenile and even though we're not 12 years old, we still find it hilarious that 'The Big Willy is on fire!' :D

I found a quote that suited how i feel lately -
The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
-- Robert Frost

I'm a big fan of Robert Frost. There's just something about his work that grabs me.

There is a story on the news about people who are afraid of driving. They can drive, they know how, they have their licenses, they're good drivers, they're just scared of it. I think that's me. Well sort of. I'm not scared of driving, i'mjust scared of taking my car anywhere in case it gets stolen :)

I'm having cottage pie for dinner. It always makes me feel strange, eating something that is named after a house. It's just wrong. Maybe if there were more foods named after architecture it wouldn't strike me as so weird. Window Cake. Bridge Soup. House Slice.

Today was a very long, dull day at work. All of the Sales Reps went out last night to watch the rugby on TV at a pub somewhere, so they were all "sick" today. I've recently had to begin sharing my office with another person and he's LOUD. So i was stuck in a loud, freezing cold office with nothing much to do for 8 hours. I managed to fit in at least one good, solid hour worth of bludging before any work managed to make its way down to my desk. my desk in my loud, freezing cold, windowless (have i mentioned i work in a dungeon?) office. Oh the joys of employment.
I shouldn't complain. There aren't many jobs around where you can finish off the day sitting around having a beer with the bosses (their beer. Beer is always better when it's someone elses). or maybe there are. Well there aren't many jobs that I'VE had where you can do that.
Either way, it was a long, dull day that is finally drawing to a close. I can get beck to feeding my sleep addiction.

I have to say, I despise the fact that me not having a degree interferes with my life. I fully understand that people who have degrees have spent a lot of time working for what they know they want to acheive. I understand and respect that. What i can't understand is how my capabilities can be directly related to whether or not i have a peice of paper that proves that i know how to do it. Isn't my work proof enough? I don't want to offend all you people out there who spent all those years of your life studying to do whatever it is that you do, but if i can do my job without a degree, who is to say that i am less of a valuable employee?
I'm just pissed off at being usurped by a degree holding bimbo. In fact, she is a lovely person, and nothing that even closely resembles a bimbo, however i feel that this fact only serves to distress me more.
I dread the thought of having to spend another 3 years of my life slogging my guts out at school just to prove that i'm capable of doing the things that i already do. I'd like to be one of those sucess stories - the tale of the young woman who fought her way through the odds to make herself a millionaire without any sort of college degree. I wonder how they do it? I'm not afraid of hard work, i think it's more that i'm afraid of having to deal with people. All those success stories that you see are women who could have easily made a career for themselves in some sort of sales position because they have a natural way with people. I, on the other hand, have a natural way with pissing people off.
I have to say that i've never been very good at people. Everything i say seems to come out in the wrong tone and be misunderstood. I've been told i sound very sarcastic.
Perhaps i'll sober up shortly and stop whinging. I just wish that i could be all those things that make people successful, instead of having the knowledge to do my job well, but no way to prove it and no verbal skills to let people know that i'm capable.

I was talking to my bf last night about the whole 911 thing and where we were when it happened etc. etc., and he was saying that his uncle and their family were in NY the day it happened, and that they were going to go to the towers that afternoon. That's not the weird part tho. In fact that's not even weird at all. It was a tourist attraction after all. The weird thing is that we were awake watching it all happen live on TV (I'm from Australia btw, so it happened at around 10 - 11pm here). So his mum rang the hotel that they were staying in to see if they were ok, and the guy that answered the phone had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. I think he thought she was on drugs or something. Now THAT is the weird part. I'm over here across the other side of the world and i'm watching it happen live on television, and all these people are at work in NY, just doing their regular day to day thing and they have absolutely no idea that a couple of minutes up the road, there are a couple of plane parked in the WTC. It just seems so incredible to me that here i am in Australia, a good 30 hour flight away from America and i have more idea of what's going on than the people who are 2 minutes away.
There's this saying that the world isn't getting worse, the news coverage is just getting better. I think after finding this out last night that i agree with that whole heartedly.

I think i'm addicted to coffee. And smoking. and sleep. In fact, i think i'm addicted to being addicted. If i ever gambled, i'd probably be addicted to that too. At least i don't have a freaky addiction. (at least not one i'm going to talk about... :twisted: ). Do they have names for addictions? Like they have names for phobias? We name everything in the world, so we must have a name for it (besides 'addict' obviously.) Like claustrophobia is a fear of confined spaces, or arachnophobia is a fear of spiders. Addiction to cigarettes could be 'nicotinodictia'. And a gambling addiction could be called 'Vegasodictia'.
That way, we could make our addictions sound more medical and therefore more like something that can be fixed without nasty sounding words like 'Cold turkey' or 'withdrawal'.

I've given up on making motivated lists of all the things i'm going to do. I read this quote the other day that went something like "[i]Inspiration seldom inspires action, but action always inspire inspiration". [/i]I mean, obviously it was phrased a little more eloquently than that, but the meaning is the same. It made me think about when i get all motivated and think about all the things i'm going to do to better myself and how many of them actually get acheived. Sadly, after much thought i realised that very few of my wonderful plans ever come to fruition. There's always something better to do. Like sleeping. Or eating. or any of the million daily tasks that is so much easier than, say, starting a business or plotting world domination.
So i was thinking about all of this and i got all motivated and said "yep, that's the first thing i'm gonna do, i'm gonna stop making lists. And then second, i'm gonna find my old lists and do all the things on them. then thirdly i'm gonna...." and it was at this point i found myself right back at the start, making more motivated lists.

Please explain - Plastic surgery TV Drama! How do they find so many people whose families are so horrible that they cheer when they hear that they've been chosen to be carved up on national TV???!!!!