Isn't it amazing the amount of junk you have to lug around when you have a baby?
My Brother, his girlfriend and their baby arrived to live here in Australia about 2 months ago (2 months! I can't believe it's been that long!) and our house has gone from "quietly disorganised" to "bomb-blast-chaotic".
I can't walk in the door without standing on mushy half-eaten biscuits that used to be shaped like bears (or some other equally as cuddly looking animal that it is just WRONG to be chewing on) or without tripping over a few dozen toys that sing random songs or bark like dogs.

Babies really aren't my thing.

It has been 2 months since i've had a complete nights sleep. She has a sixth sense that tells her when i have to get up early in the morning and she cries at 3am on the dot every one of those mornings. The only night she slept right through was the night i stayed away from home. How does she know? How can she tell that it's the perfect time to wake everyone up so that they can't get back to sleep? Do all babies have this freaky talent?

How do they cry for half an hour non-stop? How could anyone cry for that long at that high-pitched note without doing themselves an injury? It's wrong. Just like their littleness is wrong. People aren't supposed to be that small. It's not natural.

Can you tell that i've never had anything to do with children before?